I went into Mission: Impossible- Ghost Protocol expecting to see impossible physics, cars that explode in a stiff breeze, insanely complex technology with limited functionality, and other common ways action movies distort reality, but had this movie any relation to reality it would have been five minutes long. It is the sworn duty of this blog to call out Hollywood when it finds new and unusual ways to bend the laws of reality, so let's chat about some of the more inexplicable moments in the film.
Just to be clear, I don't mind when movies mess with reality in general. After all, almost all films take place in some form of alternate reality even if it's just that Random Character B exists. For example, there is a scene where Ethan and Brandt are trapped in an underwater car with bullets raining down from above. A common movie trope, which is Mythbusters certified confirmed, holds that diving underwater will protect you from bullets. And in reality, that pocket of air in the car would soon fill with water. However, without both of these elements the scene does not work and I can do my best to ignore these issues. In some ways, it is the more subtle ways that movie reality is distorted which bugs me more.
For example, the passenger elevators at the Burj Dubai apparently stop at every floor. The IMF team delays the bad guys by making it look like someone had hit the call button on the lower floors. Anyone who has ever worked in a decently tall building knows that not every elevator goes to every floor. If they did, the ride up to the 119th floor would take a mind-numbingly long time as the elevator stops for every press along the way. And, God-forbid, some brat hit every button on the way out the door. No, an elevator servicing the 119th floor would not stop on the 24th. There probably isn't even a door that could open on that floor for that elevator.
In one scene, Carter is pretending to be a bad girl selling nuclear launch code to a bad guy and Benji comes in pretending to be a bellhop. Now, I'm willing to accept that Carter and Benji have deceived said bad guy into believing who they claim to be, but why would bad guy and bad girl exchange diamonds for nuclear secrets in front of a bellhop? Nothing to see here. Just two people trading a bag of jewels for mysterious documents in a briefcase. Move along. No reason to be suspicious.
And, why is no one in Dubai prepared for a common atmospheric phenomenon like a sandstorm. Thanks to a helpful countdown clock, we know that the sandstorm was easily visible at least 26 minutes, and probably more like a full hour, before it finally hit. But, still everyone is still outside and the roads are crowded like they were caught by surprise.
At one point, the team must gain control of a server to save the world and the only way to get access to it is to jump into a magnetic safety net. I am willing to accept that there is an electromagnet powerful enough to stop a man in chain mail armor after a twenty-five foot fall and suspend him ten feet above said magnet and that this device is small enough and light enough to fit on that tiny robot, but what I will not accept is that such a strong moving magnetic field would not wipe out all the data on the server thus rendering the magnetic flying moot.
Hendricks believes that for the long term good of humanity, a lot a people need to die. And really, who can argue with that? I've often thought mass genocide would be a great thing for the species. But when the terrorist has complete control of the Russian nuclear arsenal, he only chooses to launch a single missile. He has the power to launch thousands of missiles and guarantee the war he wants, but he only uses one of them. Nuclear missiles are like potato chips. You can't launch just one. Use of a single nuclear weapon will inevitably lead to the use of them all. That was the entire concept of the Cold War. In fact, the only way using a single nuclear weapon on a nuclear armed country makes sense is if you are deliberately trying to trigger a nuclear war. The use of a single weapon points to nuclear terrorism rather than a sanctioned act of government. Thus, making a counter-strike unlikely.
But the real problem with the movie is the premise itself. A week or two before Hendricks ever launches a missile, the IMF knows that the Russian launch codes have been stolen. Why did no one just pick up the phone and tell them that their codes have been compromised? The could have done it right at the beginning, before the Kremlin blew up. Or really anytime throughout the film. Even if they don't really believe them, it would be foolish not to change them. Or maybe they did call and it went something like this...
IMF Agent: Hey, did you know some dude stole your nuclear launch codes? It might be a good idea to change them.
Russian General: Well, we would but my cousin Vladimir is out on a camping trip, way out of cell range. He's really good with computer stuff and no one else knows how to change them. He'll be back in two weeks.
IMF Agent: Oh, I see. Could you at least notify your commanders that your codes have been compromised?
Russian General: That would be so embarrassing.
IMF Agent: Yeah, I guess you're right. Well, let's hope no one tries to blow up the world in the next two weeks.
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