It seems only yesterday we were saying hello to Tobey Maguire as Spider-Man and now we have a new Spider-Man, a more accurate to the comics Spider-Man, a better than 3 but not as good as 1 or 2 Spider-Man, The Amazing Spider-Man. I liked that Gwen and Doc Connors finally got some screen time and that the web shooters were mechanical again, but everything else could have been better.
Let's start at the end. The Lizard is about to turn the populous of New York into lizard creatures until Spider-Man switches the lizardizing serum for the back-to-humanizing serum thus exposing the entire populous of New York, of which only a tiny percentage were lizard creatures, to a powerful mutagen. This serum has not been properly tested for effectiveness at its intended purpose (i.e. curing mutant lizardism) nor have any side-effects been determined. And the effect on unaltered humans is completely unknown. All that is really known about this serum is that it dramatically alters DNA, so of course, it is perfectly safe to indiscriminately scatter over one of the largest cities in the world. This scene turns on its head what was otherwise a cautionary tale regarding the need for rigorous study regarding scientific, especially biomedical, research. Spider-Man should have stopped the lizardizing machine, cured Dr. Connors, and then tracked down the rest of the lizards and cured them one at a time. It's a more difficult, slower and more dangerous method and there are bound to be civilian casualties from rampaging lizards; however, New York City won't have cancer in five years.
Other than the fact that Spider-Man has probably killed thousands, this movie has a serious Lois Lane problem. Lois Lane is billed as the world greatest reporter, but she can't figure out that the guy she works with, the guy that keeps coming up with lame excuses to suddenly leave, the guy that is never around when Superman is, and the guy that looks an awful lot like Superman with glasses is in fact Superman. This huge blind-spot makes me question not just her ability as a reporter, but if she is intelligent enough to care for herself. So with that in mind, let's play The Lois Lane Game and figure out how long it should have taken various characters to guess Peter Parker is Spider-Man.
People on the Subway- Peter demonstrates his strength, stickiness and agility to a car-full of people. No one on the train recognizes him, but one of the passengers sells their story to a tabloid and the security cam footage goes viral on Youtube. Peter is recognized within three days.
Peter's classmates- Peter humiliates Flash using strength, stickiness and agility. He later throws a football so hard that it bends the uprights. Someone puts it together ten seconds later.
NYPD- A vigilante is targeting criminals with a very specific appearance. The police run a database search on people which match said description and find one is suspected of murdering Ben Parker. Police arrive at the Parker household and see that Peter matches the height and weight of Spider-Man. It takes a week for the pattern to emerge and Peter is under arrest within an hour.
Luckily, clouds of untested mutating agents raining down from above have never been proven to cure Lois Lane Syndrome. Side-effects include Hulking-out, Flaming-on, and slow and painful death.
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