Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Star Trek- Vulcans Need Not Apply

These are the voyages of the Blogship No Spoiler Tags. It's two year mission to seek out Star Trek. New episodes and movies. To boldly go where I've pretty much already been before.

Translation: I recently finished watching Star Trek, every movie, every episode, every series, even though I've pretty much seen all of them before. It has taken me more than two years.

During this quest through hundreds of hours of Starfleet footage, a disturbing trend of racial discrimination has emerged. Starfleet, a supposed meritocracy, has, for more than a century and across at least two universes, engaged in favoritism in the hiring and promotion of humans at the expense of non-human races, typically Vulcans. Some of the most egregious examples of discrimination occurred in J. J. Abrams' Star Trek. But first, a discussion about time travel.

In Star Trek: First Contact, the Borg travel through time to prevent Zefram Cochran from breaking the warp barrier. They damage the Phoenix and during the repairs Geordi discovers that the ship was flawed an incapable of breaking the warp barrier. With the help of the Enterprise, the Phoenix makes it's fateful voyage and the Federation is born. Thus, by trying to prevent the first warp flight by humans, the Borg actually made it happen. This is known as the Picard Paradox. I now offer the Abrams Addendum. Following Nero's intervention, including the destruction of Vulcan, Picard's Enterprise could not exist in the Abrams universe; however, the Abrams universe could not exist unless Picard had traveled through time to help Zefram Cochran.

Now, a musical interlude. This one goes out to you, J. J....
 

Back to racism.

When Captain Pike first meets Jim Kirk, he has just finished sexually harassing one cadet and starting a fight with five others. Pike immediately says he could be a Starfleet officer in four years and a captain in eight. Three years later, Cadet Kirk is about to be expelled from Starfleet Academy for an act of academic dishonesty. Meanwhile, Commander Spock is already a distinguished officer. Cadet Kirk then proceeds to stowaway on a Starfleet vessel during a crisis situation. He is put off the ship for gross insubordination. He then illegally boards the Enterprise for a second time and commits an act of mutiny. Following the resolution of the Nero crisis, Cadet Kirk is promoted to captain and retains command of the most advanced vessel in Starfleet. This promotion bypasses hundreds of non-human candidates, including Commander Spock, with better qualifications, more experience and far better disciplinary records.

Jumping over to the other universe, we find an Enterprise with a crew compliment of over 400. Despite the fact that the Federation consists of numerous worlds, the Enterprise has a non-human component of one-half. (That's half a person, not half the crew.) This crewmember must endure constant ridicule and racial slurs from his shipmates. This flagrant racism is made even worse by the fact that his captain is frequently the instigator of these acts of discrimination.

Moving ahead about 75 years, we find that the situation has improved slightly, but Starfleet is still over 50% human. Many of the races in the Federation, including Vulcans, are much longer lived than humans, so assuming Starfleet is a meritocracy the higher ranks should be filled with non-human races; however, the reality is that the vast majority of the personnel ranked commander and above are human. Some case studies in discrimination:
  • Lt. Commander Dax, a Trill, has nearly 400 years worth of experience; however, she is forced to serve as third in command on a remote space station. She is demoted at least twice for no other reason than advancing in her natural life cycle. These advancements in her life cycle make her no less capable of performing her duties, in fact, they vastly increase her overall experience. She currently serves under a human who was her subordinate officer during a previous phase of her life cycle.
  • A Vulcan captain, in hopes of proving the worthiness of his race, assembles an all Vulcan crew. During the Dominion War, this segregated crew is constantly given the most dangerous assignments.
  • Starfleet approves the vivisection of an Android officer against his will and ignoring potential long-term medical consequences. Approval is made on the grounds that the officer is not a person and the property of Starfleet.
  • Lt. Commander Tuvak, a Vulcan, has about 75 years of experience in Starfleet. He has been repeatedly sited for his exemplary service, but he has not risen above third officer on a minor vessel. Following the death of the ship's second officer (a human), Commander Hasonelineinthepilot, Lt. Commander Tuvak is the natural fit to replace him given his current position and the lack of available replacement personal. However, the promotion goes instead to a human, a human with no official rank in Starfleet who is currently wanted for treason. After five years on the ship a human officer, Ensign Kim, laments that the ship's situation has robbed him of any promotion opportunities while those he graduated with from Starfleet Academy are now beginning to reach lieutenant commander. So, a human officer expects to achieve a rank in five years which a Vulcan cannot move past in seventy-five.
Luckily, we have had laws like the Voting Rights Act to prevent such discrimination.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Das Boot- A Viewer's Log

6:30 PM: As I prepare to embark on this journey through Das Boot, I am filled with trepidation. Never one to back down from a challenge, I am taking on the Director's Cut with a full hour of additional footage. (Because how could you possibly tell a story in a mere two and a half hours.) This voyage will take me past 10PM isolated from every word of English I know and love. Will I survive? And if I do will I still be the same man? Probably, I'm just watching a movie.

6:33PM: Very few films a bold enough to begin with a golden shower.

6:45PM: An indiscriminate shooting. Finally, something an American audience can relate to.

6:50PM: We get a tour of the ship. It's nice, but I was really hoping for something with a larger kitchen. We're going to move on to the next place on the list. Oh, this is the only place available. There sure are a lot of roommates. Strange, too. Do they always pile on top of each other like that?

7:00PM: Have irrepressible urge for ice cream. Pause film.

7:10PM: Our first contact with the enemy. Let's sink those English swine.

7:11PM: Hey wait a minute, these guys are Nazi bastards. Kill 'em all.

7:14PM: No, don't hurt these brave soldiers of the glorious Fatherland, you limey bitches.

7:20PM: Begin to wonder if I will put any music in this post. Realize I know four songs with submarine in the title. Seems high for such an esoteric object. Decide that The Lumineers have the most appropriate song. First song from this century used on No Spoiler Tags. Also first local music.

7:30PM: This movie is riveting. As in there are rivets flying through the air trying to kill everyone. Also it's suspenseful and compelling.

7:40PM: We are getting very familiar with the crew of this sub. Begin to think that the purpose of this film is to humanize people we traditionally consider the enemy. Maybe not everyone who fights on the other side of a war is evil. Maybe some of them are just people defending their homes. Maybe some of them don't even agree with their country's leadership. Nah, too crazy.

8:10PM: Phone rings. Pause film. It's a survey about movies. Hang up. Like I'm going to give my opinions about movies to strangers.

8:20PM: Burn the crew of a merchant ship to death. (Fucking Nazi bastards.)  Feel really sorry about it.

8:40PM: We are really getting tossed around by this storm. Why don't we dive to get underneath it?

8:42PM: We dive to get underneath it.

8:50PM: Lots of German sailor ass. Endearing German sailor ass.

8:55PM: Assholes at headquarters order us through the Strait of Gibraltar. This won't go well.

9:10PM: This isn't going well.

9:15PM: KABOOM! Surround sound is awesome.

9:20PM: Um-Ba-Ba-Bay.

9:25PM: Torrents of rushing water. Pause film. Torrents of rushing water.

9:30PM: Finally, we get to watch those Nazis drown like the fucking rats they are.

9:40PM: What? They aren't going to drown. Good drowning too quick for them. Let's see them asphyxiate knowing they are helpless to save themselves.

9:55PM: Yes, those noble men of the U-92 are getting off the ocean floor. They are a true inspiration to all of Germany.

9:59PM: And they will evade the English. Yes, they will make it back to port.

10:00PM: Swastikas and Gothic lettering. Hey, I think those guys speaking German riding a U-boat are Nazis. Fuck those guys.

10:02PM: The RAF fucks those guys.

10:05PM: The crew thinking they had reached safety after months of constant danger are now dying. And as the captain takes his last breath, watching the conning tower of his beloved ship which he and his crew had fought so hard to raise from its presumptive watery grave submerge for the last time into what was believed to be a safe harbor, we are reminded of the futility of war.