Star Wars, if you are an American older than ten who has not seen this movie and its two sequels, your citizenship should be instantly revoked. If you have ever called this movie A New Hope, you are no longer welcome on my site. And if you think Greedo shot first, your education has been woefully insufficient.
This post is about a curious decision by Obi-Wan Kenobi not to reveal a certain relationship in the Skywalker family before he died. No, not that familial relationship. If you're training someone to kill someone, it's best not to mention that the target is their father. That's just common sense. I'm talking about the fact that Luke and Leia are siblings.
Luke's first reaction when he sees the recording on R2-D2 is one of pure lust. Eventually, he realizes she is actually speaking and starts trying to find Obi-Wan. But clearly when Luke agrees to go to Alderaan, it is with high hopes of scoring some hot princess tail with some secondary motivations about freeing the galaxy from evil and oppression and avenging the murder of his entire family.
Here is how that scene at Obi-Wan's place should have gone:
Obi-Wan: The Emperor knew that if Anakin ever had children they would be powerful in the ways of the Force, so you and your twin sister were split up and hidden from him.
Luke: I have a sister?
Obi-Wan: Yeah, she's the hot chick on the recording.
Luke: Thanks for the heads up. That could have been really awkward. I was masturbating to "You're my only hope," all night.
See, incest prevented and no awkward daddy questions. And now Luke isn't some horny teenager chasing after some girl he saw on some blurry hologram, he's a man facing insurmountable odds to save the last member of his family (as far as he knows).
As far as we know, Luke and Leia never had sex, but looking at the deleted scenes on the Blu-ray release, I think Luke made out with Leia more times than Han. Leia looked like she was really into Luke in the first (not fourth) film and we all know that if a man saves a woman's life she is legally obligated to have sex with him. It's movie law. Luckily, no woman can resist the kind of man who shoots first and doesn't ask questions later, so Han had to be the inevitable winner in this contest, but Luke was definitely in the running for awhile after rescuing her and blowing up the Death Star.
Perhaps the oddest part about the Star Wars incest subplot, is on Endor when Luke tells Leia that they're related and she responds, "I knew it. Somehow, I've always known." Afterward, there's no awkward moment when they acknowledge the fact they made out multiple times and agree to never mention it again. Han doesn't tease them later about that time on Hoth. If Vader senses that his kids had the hots for each other when he senses that they're siblings, he doesn't let on. No one is creeped out by the revelation in any way. Apparently, incest is generally accepted in a galaxy far, far away.
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