Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Yes Man- The Joys and Dangers of Living Weird

Here at No Spoiler Tags we fully support the concept of living weird. We believe "normal" is an insult and we crave new adventures. Yes, this site is primarily devoted to shining the cold, calculating eye of logic and science onto other people's imaginations and I've written a completely non-satirical piece on why you should give up on your dreams, but that is because we also believe that peculiarity must be tempered with practicality. Yes Man is a surprisingly not terrible movie about a man who cannot find the proper balance between the two.

Carl begins the film with a stick firmly implanted up his rectum. His friends, fed up with his constant dodging, are ready to dump him. He has closed his mind to the possibilities.

Then, he goes the other way. He becomes the embodiment of spontaneity and finds it exhilarating, especially as it involves fucking Zooey Deschanel. However, he is also repeatedly robbed, scammed, raped by an old lady, and generally taken advantage of by friends and strangers alike. Everything works out in the end for Carl, but in reality he would be broke in under a day (as he must buy everything an ad tells him to), fired in under a month (a lot of those loans look terrible and somebody's bound to use the opportunity to rob the bank), and probably dead in under a year (some combination of alcohol, drugs, and exhaustion, if nothing else). So, there is a serious downside to this lifestyle. (On the other hand, fucking Zooey Deschanel.)

Zooey Deschanel is actually the role model to follow in this movie. She embraces living weird, but maintains touch with reality. She knows no one wants to buy her crappy photographs or listen to her shitty band, but she contributes(?) to the local art scene because she loves it. This is what I meant in my give up on your dreams piece. You can be a rock star in your own mind, but know deep down in your soul that you truly suck. (For the record, my only readers are Russian spambots and I like it that way.)

The No Spoiler Tags Guide to Weirdness:

1. Weird is a choice.- You will never be bizarre if you don't put in the effort.

2. Remind yourself to be strange.- I watch one of these get out and do something movies, like Yes Man, about once every six months to shame myself into trying something new. (I signed up for golf lessons as soon as the film ended. Not that strange, but it is new.) Some better movies with a similar theme include The Dead Poets Society, Garden State and Stranger Than Fiction. I also happen to own the watch from Stranger Than Fiction (I had it before the film came out.) and I live in fear everyday that it will throw me under a bus if I disappoint it. You may find it useful to attach a death threat to a totem of your own.

3. Don't think, Just do.- If I give myself a chance to find a reason to back out, I usually will. So, I find a way to commit myself before I get a chance to think about the consequences. Buy your plane ticket and figure out how you're getting to the airport later. Yes, this is a contradiction to the first half of this piece when I encouraged insanity based on sanity, but you will usually know when something is bound to end poorly right away and can avoid the bad decision.

4. You will get hurt.- Last night, a pocket of air was begging to receive a double flying kick. (The air knows what it did.) The air, being a compressible fluid, was unharmed by my powerful blow. My leg, on the other hand, received a sizable gash as it caught on a sharp edge on a counter-top. I won't tell you to not perform impractical martial arts on fantasy opponents or even to check for sharp corners before moving spastically, that would defeat the purpose of such an action, but just know at some point you will get hurt. Physically, emotionally, financially. At some point, being weird will hurt. In the long run, I firmly believe weirdness will always pay off, but you'll get some scars along the way.

5. Don't listen to me.- This is your ride, baby. Don't be content to follow my rules or anyone else's. Find out just how far you can push the envelope. (Philosophical question: If you follow this rule, are you breaking this rule?)

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