Toy Story- Why Isn't This Terrifying?

Toy Story is the beloved family movie which introduced the world to the wonder that is Pixar. To show you how much I love this movie, here are my official rankings of every Pixar film.

1. Toy Story 3

2. Toy Story

3. Up

4. A Bug's Life (Has been way underrated)

5. Finding Nemo

6. Toy Story 2

7. Wall-E

8. The Incredibles (Has been way overrated)

9. Ratatouille

10. Monsters Inc.

11. Cars 2

12. Cars (Will being about Pixar's inevitable demise)

All three Toy Story films bunch in the top six, despite the annual greatness that is Pixar. But these days, looking back on these movies, I can't imagine why they didn't traumatize an entire generation.

The premise of Toy Story is terrifying. It's essentially the same as the Child's Play films. All of you're toys are sentient and capable of self-motivation. They are well-organized and detailed oriented. They are known to conspire with animals which will follow their commands. They experience human emotions especially jealousy and loneliness, which are the driving force behind the plot of all three films. The moral of the (toy) story is treat your toys well, don't forget about any of them, and give them all equal attention or they will probably kill you while you sleep.

If you think I reading too much into this, let me remind you of this scene...

 

Sid wasn't very nice to his toys, so they all banded together to give him severe psychological trauma. Woody made no qualms about intentionally scaring the shit out of Sid and probably doing permanent damage to his psyche. Notice how they invoke zombie movies as the toys rise from the sandbox and Woody tops it all off with the head spin from The Exorcist. Earlier on, we saw him attempting to murder Buzz. And, this guy is our hero, Andy's favorite and most trusted toy. Mr. Potato Head also shows some vengeful and homicidal tendencies when he rallies the other toys to attempt to kill Woody on two separate occasions. Andy's toys also have an opportunity to save Woody from torture at the hands of Sid and vengefully choose not to help.

And, it's not just the human and animal toys that are intelligent. Toys like Etch-a-Sketch are also sentient which raises the question, "What isn't alive?" Cars? Robots? Damn you, Pixar, next you'll tell me there are monsters in my closet and rats in the kitchen. The logical conclusion of Toy Story is that everything around you is alive, highly intelligent, might want to kill you, and is capable of doing so. Sleep tight, kids!

As long as we're on the topic of things kids love that they should be scared of, Santa Claus. Santa is a fat, old man who hangs out at malls encouraging children to sit on his lap and tell him secrets. He watches them when they sleep, he keeps detailed lists of everything they do, and if he likes what he sees, he breaks into their house to give them presents. I think he lives at the North Pole so he doesn't have any neighbors to notify.