I went into Mission: Impossible- Ghost Protocol expecting to see impossible physics, cars that explode in a stiff breeze, insanely complex technology with limited functionality, and other common ways action movies distort reality, but had this movie any relation to reality it would have been five minutes long. It is the sworn duty of this blog to call out Hollywood when it finds new and unusual ways to bend the laws of reality, so let's chat about some of the more inexplicable moments in the film.
Just to be clear, I don't mind when movies mess with reality in general. After all, almost all films take place in some form of alternate reality even if it's just that Random Character B exists. For example, there is a scene where Ethan and Brandt are trapped in an underwater car with bullets raining down from above. A common movie trope, which is Mythbusters certified confirmed, holds that diving underwater will protect you from bullets. And in reality, that pocket of air in the car would soon fill with water. However, without both of these elements the scene does not work and I can do my best to ignore these issues. In some ways, it is the more subtle ways that movie reality is distorted which bugs me more.
For example, the passenger elevators at the Burj Dubai apparently stop at every floor. The IMF team delays the bad guys by making it look like someone had hit the call button on the lower floors. Anyone who has ever worked in a decently tall building knows that not every elevator goes to every floor. If they did, the ride up to the 119th floor would take a mind-numbingly long time as the elevator stops for every press along the way. And, God-forbid, some brat hit every button on the way out the door. No, an elevator servicing the 119th floor would not stop on the 24th. There probably isn't even a door that could open on that floor for that elevator.
In one scene, Carter is pretending to be a bad girl selling nuclear launch code to a bad guy and Benji comes in pretending to be a bellhop. Now, I'm willing to accept that Carter and Benji have deceived said bad guy into believing who they claim to be, but why would bad guy and bad girl exchange diamonds for nuclear secrets in front of a bellhop? Nothing to see here. Just two people trading a bag of jewels for mysterious documents in a briefcase. Move along. No reason to be suspicious.
And, why is no one in Dubai prepared for a common atmospheric phenomenon like a sandstorm. Thanks to a helpful countdown clock, we know that the sandstorm was easily visible at least 26 minutes, and probably more like a full hour, before it finally hit. But, still everyone is still outside and the roads are crowded like they were caught by surprise.
At one point, the team must gain control of a server to save the world and the only way to get access to it is to jump into a magnetic safety net. I am willing to accept that there is an electromagnet powerful enough to stop a man in chain mail armor after a twenty-five foot fall and suspend him ten feet above said magnet and that this device is small enough and light enough to fit on that tiny robot, but what I will not accept is that such a strong moving magnetic field would not wipe out all the data on the server thus rendering the magnetic flying moot.
Hendricks believes that for the long term good of humanity, a lot a people need to die. And really, who can argue with that? I've often thought mass genocide would be a great thing for the species. But when the terrorist has complete control of the Russian nuclear arsenal, he only chooses to launch a single missile. He has the power to launch thousands of missiles and guarantee the war he wants, but he only uses one of them. Nuclear missiles are like potato chips. You can't launch just one. Use of a single nuclear weapon will inevitably lead to the use of them all. That was the entire concept of the Cold War. In fact, the only way using a single nuclear weapon on a nuclear armed country makes sense is if you are deliberately trying to trigger a nuclear war. The use of a single weapon points to nuclear terrorism rather than a sanctioned act of government. Thus, making a counter-strike unlikely.
But the real problem with the movie is the premise itself. A week or two before Hendricks ever launches a missile, the IMF knows that the Russian launch codes have been stolen. Why did no one just pick up the phone and tell them that their codes have been compromised? The could have done it right at the beginning, before the Kremlin blew up. Or really anytime throughout the film. Even if they don't really believe them, it would be foolish not to change them. Or maybe they did call and it went something like this...
IMF Agent: Hey, did you know some dude stole your nuclear launch codes? It might be a good idea to change them.
Russian General: Well, we would but my cousin Vladimir is out on a camping trip, way out of cell range. He's really good with computer stuff and no one else knows how to change them. He'll be back in two weeks.
IMF Agent: Oh, I see. Could you at least notify your commanders that your codes have been compromised?
Russian General: That would be so embarrassing.
IMF Agent: Yeah, I guess you're right. Well, let's hope no one tries to blow up the world in the next two weeks.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Sunday, December 25, 2011
The Santa Clause- The No Spoiler Tags Christmas Special
Previously on No Spoiler Tags, I described Santa Claus thusly, "Santa is a fat, old man who hangs out at malls encouraging children to sit on his lap and tell him secrets. He watches them when they sleep, he keeps detailed lists of everything they do, and if he likes what he sees, he breaks into their house to give them presents. I think he lives at the North Pole so he doesn't have any neighbors to notify." The Santa Clause takes the innate horror that is Santa to a whole other level.
In this movie, we find out that Santa is not an immortal deity, but is in fact a composite character like the Dread Pirate Roberts composed of hundreds of individuals over the centuries. So, how is the new Santa chosen. Is it a inherited post? Is it the man who most embodies the Christmas spirit? No, it's whoever kills the previous Santa and takes his clothes. The Santa Clause is like Highlander, kill the immortal and take his power. Now we know why no one ever sees him. Santa is paranoid that everyone is packing shotguns and laying in wait to take him out.
In one scene, Tim Allen is sitting on a park bench and then dozens of kids show up to tell him what they want for Christmas. Apparently, Santa is also the Pied Piper. There are many people who would kill to have this and the rest of Santa's powers. Curiously, they are exactly the same people who really should not have his powers.
Sleep tight kids, Santa Claus is coming to town, drenched in the blood of the three previous Santas which were murdered tonight.
P.S: To any kids reading who might have been frightened by this post remember Santa Claus is an elaborate lie constructed by a massive conspiracy which includes your parents, your teachers, marketing executives, and the media. And why have your parents been lying to you your entire life? It's because they don't really love you. So to recap: Santa doesn't exist which is good because if he did he'd be a murdering pedophile, everyone is lying to you and your parents secretly hate you. Merry Christmas!
In this movie, we find out that Santa is not an immortal deity, but is in fact a composite character like the Dread Pirate Roberts composed of hundreds of individuals over the centuries. So, how is the new Santa chosen. Is it a inherited post? Is it the man who most embodies the Christmas spirit? No, it's whoever kills the previous Santa and takes his clothes. The Santa Clause is like Highlander, kill the immortal and take his power. Now we know why no one ever sees him. Santa is paranoid that everyone is packing shotguns and laying in wait to take him out.
In one scene, Tim Allen is sitting on a park bench and then dozens of kids show up to tell him what they want for Christmas. Apparently, Santa is also the Pied Piper. There are many people who would kill to have this and the rest of Santa's powers. Curiously, they are exactly the same people who really should not have his powers.
Sleep tight kids, Santa Claus is coming to town, drenched in the blood of the three previous Santas which were murdered tonight.
P.S: To any kids reading who might have been frightened by this post remember Santa Claus is an elaborate lie constructed by a massive conspiracy which includes your parents, your teachers, marketing executives, and the media. And why have your parents been lying to you your entire life? It's because they don't really love you. So to recap: Santa doesn't exist which is good because if he did he'd be a murdering pedophile, everyone is lying to you and your parents secretly hate you. Merry Christmas!
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Murder in the First- Any Resemblance to Any Person Living or Dead is Purely Coincidental
Murder in the First is a film about a prisoner held in solitary confinement for more than three years. Driven insane by inhumane treatment, the prisoner, Henry Young, commits a murder immediately following his release from solitary. While based on a true story, many facts were changed and dramatized in the movie version. On a completely unrelated note, since 2001, the United States government has detained 775 people in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba and many more prisoners in numerous other facilities around the world.
Henry Young was kept in a cramped cell, beaten, cut, and isolated from the world for three years. When word of Young's treatment became public, Alcatraz officials were punished for their actions. Numerous accusations from numerous sources including the UN, Amnesty International, the Red Cross, FBI agents, and former detainees have leaved charges including sleep deprivation, beatings, and confinement in cramped or painful positions for lengthy periods of time. The Eight Amendment of the Constitution bars the use of "cruel and unusual punishments," an unfortunate conjunction as it appears that cruel punishments are permissible as long as they are done frequently.
Henry Young was originally sent to Alcatraz for stealing $5, which even in 1938, was hardly a crime worthy incarceration in the toughest prison in the country. However, he was still more guilty than the many Gitmo detainees, according to Colonel Lawrence Wilkerson who in a sworn statement said that the majority of detainees initially sent there were innocent and that top officials including the President were aware of that fact.
As the trial swung in Young's favor, he wanted to accept a guilty plea and the death penalty rather than returning to Alcatraz to serve out time for a lesser charge. In 2005, a number of hunger striking detainees were force fed through feeding tubes. One of the prisoners sued to have the feeding tube removed so he could be allowed to die.
After being convicted on a lesser charge, Henry Young returns to Alcatraz only to mysteriously die a short time later. Similar mystery surrounds the deaths of three Gitmo detainees in 2006.
You may believe that all of this is in the past, but in March of this year President Obama formalized the "legal" practice of indefinite detention without charges and in December the Senate passed 93-7 a bill which included a prevision allowing indefinite detention without charges of prisoners arrested on American soil, including American citizens. [Update: That's a law now.] And the Patriot Act has only expanded under the Obama administration. The day that the First, Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, and Eighth Amendments became meaningless is the day we lost the War on Terror.
Henry Young was held indefinitely in inhumane conditions and was only released from them because another prison official began to ask questions and would not let the issue rest. Since the election of President Obama, who promised to close the facility by the end of 2009, the issue of indefinite detention has been largely ignored. However, as of May 2011, 171 prisoners remain in detention at Guantanamo Bay and Secretary of Defense Gates has stated that "the prospects of closing [the facility] are at best very, very low." It is long past time that we stand up for human rights and demand closure of US secret prisons. We must not continue to ignore this issue.
Henry Young was kept in a cramped cell, beaten, cut, and isolated from the world for three years. When word of Young's treatment became public, Alcatraz officials were punished for their actions. Numerous accusations from numerous sources including the UN, Amnesty International, the Red Cross, FBI agents, and former detainees have leaved charges including sleep deprivation, beatings, and confinement in cramped or painful positions for lengthy periods of time. The Eight Amendment of the Constitution bars the use of "cruel and unusual punishments," an unfortunate conjunction as it appears that cruel punishments are permissible as long as they are done frequently.
Henry Young was originally sent to Alcatraz for stealing $5, which even in 1938, was hardly a crime worthy incarceration in the toughest prison in the country. However, he was still more guilty than the many Gitmo detainees, according to Colonel Lawrence Wilkerson who in a sworn statement said that the majority of detainees initially sent there were innocent and that top officials including the President were aware of that fact.
As the trial swung in Young's favor, he wanted to accept a guilty plea and the death penalty rather than returning to Alcatraz to serve out time for a lesser charge. In 2005, a number of hunger striking detainees were force fed through feeding tubes. One of the prisoners sued to have the feeding tube removed so he could be allowed to die.
After being convicted on a lesser charge, Henry Young returns to Alcatraz only to mysteriously die a short time later. Similar mystery surrounds the deaths of three Gitmo detainees in 2006.
You may believe that all of this is in the past, but in March of this year President Obama formalized the "legal" practice of indefinite detention without charges and in December the Senate passed 93-7 a bill which included a prevision allowing indefinite detention without charges of prisoners arrested on American soil, including American citizens. [Update: That's a law now.] And the Patriot Act has only expanded under the Obama administration. The day that the First, Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, and Eighth Amendments became meaningless is the day we lost the War on Terror.
Henry Young was held indefinitely in inhumane conditions and was only released from them because another prison official began to ask questions and would not let the issue rest. Since the election of President Obama, who promised to close the facility by the end of 2009, the issue of indefinite detention has been largely ignored. However, as of May 2011, 171 prisoners remain in detention at Guantanamo Bay and Secretary of Defense Gates has stated that "the prospects of closing [the facility] are at best very, very low." It is long past time that we stand up for human rights and demand closure of US secret prisons. We must not continue to ignore this issue.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban- Harry Potter and the Turner of Time
This is my third post about the Potter series. In my first post about the last film, I earned the ire of Potterheads (or would have if anyone was reading this) by pointing out some serious flaws in The Deathly Hallows. In my last post about the first film, I tried to earn them back by discussing the brilliance of J. K. Rowling's writing style. In my third post about the third film, I will give back any good will I may have earned by relentlessly harping on about the greatest flaw in the Harry Potter series: the introduction of the Time Turner.
Rowling painted herself into a bit of a corner during Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and like many sci-fi writers she decided that the best way to get out of it was a little time travel. The problem is that even in a world where everyone can do virtually anything they want by muttering a few words time travel is a really powerful weapon. Most writers make sure that after the time mischief is managed that the time travel devise is lost or destroyed or that the method of time travel is so difficult to keep it from being overused. But Rowling doesn't do any of these things, so we are left to believe that throughout the series, through all the awful events that occur, there is a device somewhere in Hogwarts capable of transporting at least two people back in time and that no one thinks to use it to change the course of events except for that one time. Was the entire cast hit with an Oblivo curse after the film? This is especially obvious and painful because, as discussed previously, every other detail in the Potter series comes back at one point or another. In this post, we will mention a few moments in the series when Dumbledore could have saved the day by reversing the day. Note: In the movie, Hermione states that McGonagall gave her the Time Turner; however, as he knew that Hermione had the device, knew how to use it, and has a habit of collecting such things, we will assume that Dumbledore is the true owner of the Time Turner.
Pre-series: Through the power of time travel, there are an innumerable ways that Dumbledore could have prevented Magical Hitler from coming into power the first time around thus saving the lives of thousands. I think my choice would have been a warning to myself that teaching that Riddle kid that he can kill people with is mind is not a good idea and letting He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named live out his true destiny as an investment banker.
Now, we don't know too much about the Time Turner. Maybe there is a limit to how far you can go back. Maybe he just got the thing right before Harry's third year at school. We know that the device can be used an unlimited number of times because the number of times Hermione used it was well into the hundreds and you don't give a thirteen year old a time travel device to do her homework if you've only got a couple of uses out of it. (Sidenote: Dumbledore had a magical object capable of altering the time-space continuum and he gave it to a thirteen year old with a history of rule-breaking so that she could do her homework. It doesn't matter how smart she is, this is a generally poor decision. Also, for an entire school year, Hermione was living ~30 hour days. Shouldn't she be dog tired and visibly aging faster than everyone else?) So to give him the benefit of the doubt and because nothing really irreversibly bad happened in the first two films, we'll skip ahead to The Goblet of Fire.
The Goblet of Fire- As soon as, Harry's name came out of the cup it was recognized to be a powerful act of dark magic sure to end poorly. How 'bout going back and watching the goblet to catch the Death Eater that did it? Oh, and remember that scene when Voldemort came back to life and killed that kid? Transporting a small army back in time could have helped there.
The Order of the Phoenix- At the battle at the Ministry, a bunch of Death Eaters get away, Sirius dies and as a result they lose their headquarters. A strategic defeat all around. And because all of this happens at the Ministry of Magic, Dumbledore doesn't even have to lift a wand to stop all of this. A warning owl that a bunch of escaped cons are heading to their way and the Ministry rounds up the lot turning the fight into a key defeat for Voldemort. I know Dumbledore and the Minster are not exactly getting along at this point in the series, but he'd be a complete fool not to increase security under a very specific warning.
The Half-Blood Prince- If I was Dumbledore about this time, I'd pay my younger self a visit carrying a copy of The Lord of the Rings and remind myself that it's not a good decision to try on a ring containing part of the soul of the Dark Lord, then Snape wouldn't have to kill me.
The Deathly Hallows- There's nothing Dumbledore can do now. Because he's dead. Because Snape killed him.
As this is the last post I will do on the Potter films, here is my ranking of the series.
1. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 1-Pure depressing goodness from start to finish
2. Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone-Magic still seems magical in the first one
3. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire-The best ending in the series
Turner does to the series as a whole
7. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix-Flashy ending, but not much happens in this film
8. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets-Weakest source material in the series
Rowling painted herself into a bit of a corner during Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and like many sci-fi writers she decided that the best way to get out of it was a little time travel. The problem is that even in a world where everyone can do virtually anything they want by muttering a few words time travel is a really powerful weapon. Most writers make sure that after the time mischief is managed that the time travel devise is lost or destroyed or that the method of time travel is so difficult to keep it from being overused. But Rowling doesn't do any of these things, so we are left to believe that throughout the series, through all the awful events that occur, there is a device somewhere in Hogwarts capable of transporting at least two people back in time and that no one thinks to use it to change the course of events except for that one time. Was the entire cast hit with an Oblivo curse after the film? This is especially obvious and painful because, as discussed previously, every other detail in the Potter series comes back at one point or another. In this post, we will mention a few moments in the series when Dumbledore could have saved the day by reversing the day. Note: In the movie, Hermione states that McGonagall gave her the Time Turner; however, as he knew that Hermione had the device, knew how to use it, and has a habit of collecting such things, we will assume that Dumbledore is the true owner of the Time Turner.
Pre-series: Through the power of time travel, there are an innumerable ways that Dumbledore could have prevented Magical Hitler from coming into power the first time around thus saving the lives of thousands. I think my choice would have been a warning to myself that teaching that Riddle kid that he can kill people with is mind is not a good idea and letting He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named live out his true destiny as an investment banker.
Now, we don't know too much about the Time Turner. Maybe there is a limit to how far you can go back. Maybe he just got the thing right before Harry's third year at school. We know that the device can be used an unlimited number of times because the number of times Hermione used it was well into the hundreds and you don't give a thirteen year old a time travel device to do her homework if you've only got a couple of uses out of it. (Sidenote: Dumbledore had a magical object capable of altering the time-space continuum and he gave it to a thirteen year old with a history of rule-breaking so that she could do her homework. It doesn't matter how smart she is, this is a generally poor decision. Also, for an entire school year, Hermione was living ~30 hour days. Shouldn't she be dog tired and visibly aging faster than everyone else?) So to give him the benefit of the doubt and because nothing really irreversibly bad happened in the first two films, we'll skip ahead to The Goblet of Fire.
The Goblet of Fire- As soon as, Harry's name came out of the cup it was recognized to be a powerful act of dark magic sure to end poorly. How 'bout going back and watching the goblet to catch the Death Eater that did it? Oh, and remember that scene when Voldemort came back to life and killed that kid? Transporting a small army back in time could have helped there.
The Order of the Phoenix- At the battle at the Ministry, a bunch of Death Eaters get away, Sirius dies and as a result they lose their headquarters. A strategic defeat all around. And because all of this happens at the Ministry of Magic, Dumbledore doesn't even have to lift a wand to stop all of this. A warning owl that a bunch of escaped cons are heading to their way and the Ministry rounds up the lot turning the fight into a key defeat for Voldemort. I know Dumbledore and the Minster are not exactly getting along at this point in the series, but he'd be a complete fool not to increase security under a very specific warning.
The Half-Blood Prince- If I was Dumbledore about this time, I'd pay my younger self a visit carrying a copy of The Lord of the Rings and remind myself that it's not a good decision to try on a ring containing part of the soul of the Dark Lord, then Snape wouldn't have to kill me.
The Deathly Hallows- There's nothing Dumbledore can do now. Because he's dead. Because Snape killed him.
As this is the last post I will do on the Potter films, here is my ranking of the series.
1. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 1-Pure depressing goodness from start to finish
2. Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone-Magic still seems magical in the first one
3. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire-The best ending in the series
4. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince-The second best ending
5. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2-The battle of Hogwarts could not possibly be ruined
completely
6. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban- Ranks last when considered in light of what the TimeTurner does to the series as a whole
7. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix-Flashy ending, but not much happens in this film
8. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets-Weakest source material in the series
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone- That's Right, the Philosopher's Stone
I found out that if you order the Harry Potter Blu-Ray collection from the UK version of Amazon it's about 50% less than ordering from the American site (Thanks, terrible European economy!) and you get Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone without the stupid Sorcerer's Stone Americanization. Technically, this was a first viewing, but it has been excluded from the log as the two films vary by only a single word. So, my copy of the set arrived today and I'm beginning my return journey through the series.
In my previous discussion of the Harry Potter series, I discussed how a number of changes in the second part of the Deathly Hallows were designed to circumvent serious flaws in the source material. Now, I will try to win back the love of J. K. Rowling by praising her for something she did incredibly well throughout the series and that is embedding little bits of information that wouldn't pay off for an entire book or more. It's an amazing part of her writing style that makes me wonder how much of the series she had planned before the she ever put pen to paper. So now I present items from this movie (or the book) that don't mean much in The Philosoper's Stone, but come back big time later on.
Parceltounge- Harry has a little chat with a snake which becomes a critical plot point in The Chamber of Secrets and beyond.
Hagrid can't use magic- Hagrid briefly mentions being banned from using magic, but we have to wait for The Chamber of Secrets to find out why.
Harry's wand- Harry's wand shares a core with Voldemort's which saves his ass big time in The Goblet of Fire.
Chocolate Frog trading card- It didn't make it in the movie, but Dumbledore's battle with Grindelwald is mentioned on the way to Hogwarts. We don't hear the details about it until The Deathly Hallows. But it's really more a lover's quarrel than a battle, which is a fact which never quite came out in the books. (Pun completely intended.)
Scabbers- In the book, Ron's rat is described missing a toe. A critical fact in The Prisoner of Azkaban.
Ghosts- Introduced as a comic device in this movie, ghosts prove to be a valuable information source starting with The Chamber of Secrets.
Snape saves Harry- During the Quidditch scene, there's really no reason why Snape should have been the one to save Harry. Any of the professors could have done it. Sure, it adds an air of suspicion to his character, but Snape is so obvious as a villain that he's obviously not a villain. It's not until The Order of the Phoenix that we really get an idea of how Snape caught on to Quirrell before anyone else (there are a lot of hints beforehand) and it's not until The Deathly Hallows that we find out that Snape pledged his life to protecting Harry. Also, the snitch from that scene also returns in The Deathly Hallows and Snape kills Dumbledore. (That last part has nothing to do with the discussion at hand, it's just my job.)
The Marauder's Map- McGonagall makes a joke about Harry and Ron needing a map of Hogwarts which is a critical tool starting in The Prisoner of Azkaban.
The Voldemort/Harry Psychic Hotline- Pain from Harry's scar is a symptom of their psychic connection which doesn't become a major plot point until The Order of the Phoenix. Voldemort also appears to make a lucky guess that Harry already has the stone, but in light of latter events it might not be a guess at all.
The Invisibility Cloak- Ok, so this is a major tool from the moment it appears, but its not until The Deathly Hallows that we know why it's the best invisibility cloak in town.
The Final Horcrux- Three of the eight previously mentioned points connect Harry and Voldemort one way or another. This adds to the narrative in a number of ways throughout the series, but it also sets up the big reveal that Harry is one of Voldemort's Horcruxes in The Deathly Hallows.
I've probably missed one or seven, but that's the point Harry Potter is such a rich mythology in which every detail matters to the story as a whole. It's a remarkable feat of writing which I have only seen this effectively accomplished in two other series: The Lord of the Rings and Avatar: The Last Airbender. J. K. Rowling would certainly not forget about a one-time plot devise capable of resolving the entire central conflict of the series in under five minutes. (Sarcastic foreshadowing)
In my previous discussion of the Harry Potter series, I discussed how a number of changes in the second part of the Deathly Hallows were designed to circumvent serious flaws in the source material. Now, I will try to win back the love of J. K. Rowling by praising her for something she did incredibly well throughout the series and that is embedding little bits of information that wouldn't pay off for an entire book or more. It's an amazing part of her writing style that makes me wonder how much of the series she had planned before the she ever put pen to paper. So now I present items from this movie (or the book) that don't mean much in The Philosoper's Stone, but come back big time later on.
Parceltounge- Harry has a little chat with a snake which becomes a critical plot point in The Chamber of Secrets and beyond.
Hagrid can't use magic- Hagrid briefly mentions being banned from using magic, but we have to wait for The Chamber of Secrets to find out why.
Harry's wand- Harry's wand shares a core with Voldemort's which saves his ass big time in The Goblet of Fire.
Chocolate Frog trading card- It didn't make it in the movie, but Dumbledore's battle with Grindelwald is mentioned on the way to Hogwarts. We don't hear the details about it until The Deathly Hallows. But it's really more a lover's quarrel than a battle, which is a fact which never quite came out in the books. (Pun completely intended.)
Scabbers- In the book, Ron's rat is described missing a toe. A critical fact in The Prisoner of Azkaban.
Ghosts- Introduced as a comic device in this movie, ghosts prove to be a valuable information source starting with The Chamber of Secrets.
Snape saves Harry- During the Quidditch scene, there's really no reason why Snape should have been the one to save Harry. Any of the professors could have done it. Sure, it adds an air of suspicion to his character, but Snape is so obvious as a villain that he's obviously not a villain. It's not until The Order of the Phoenix that we really get an idea of how Snape caught on to Quirrell before anyone else (there are a lot of hints beforehand) and it's not until The Deathly Hallows that we find out that Snape pledged his life to protecting Harry. Also, the snitch from that scene also returns in The Deathly Hallows and Snape kills Dumbledore. (That last part has nothing to do with the discussion at hand, it's just my job.)
The Marauder's Map- McGonagall makes a joke about Harry and Ron needing a map of Hogwarts which is a critical tool starting in The Prisoner of Azkaban.
The Voldemort/Harry Psychic Hotline- Pain from Harry's scar is a symptom of their psychic connection which doesn't become a major plot point until The Order of the Phoenix. Voldemort also appears to make a lucky guess that Harry already has the stone, but in light of latter events it might not be a guess at all.
The Invisibility Cloak- Ok, so this is a major tool from the moment it appears, but its not until The Deathly Hallows that we know why it's the best invisibility cloak in town.
The Final Horcrux- Three of the eight previously mentioned points connect Harry and Voldemort one way or another. This adds to the narrative in a number of ways throughout the series, but it also sets up the big reveal that Harry is one of Voldemort's Horcruxes in The Deathly Hallows.
I've probably missed one or seven, but that's the point Harry Potter is such a rich mythology in which every detail matters to the story as a whole. It's a remarkable feat of writing which I have only seen this effectively accomplished in two other series: The Lord of the Rings and Avatar: The Last Airbender. J. K. Rowling would certainly not forget about a one-time plot devise capable of resolving the entire central conflict of the series in under five minutes. (Sarcastic foreshadowing)
Friday, December 2, 2011
The Deer Hunter- Don't Watch a Three Hour Movie on a Laptop
I've seen many films on DVD and thought "I'd like this more if I'd seen it in the theater." After watching The Deer Hunter on my laptop, it occurs to me that there are worse ways to see a movie than the ideal home theater set up and that every downgrade in viewing set up deserves a downgrade in maximum viewing time. But first a few stray observations about the movie...
I think a kid at the wedding invented break dancing.
Rolling Rock- The official beer of PTSD
By the time, Micheal finds Nick he must have logically played that game dozens of times and in each game he has a 50% chance of losing. He has a 25% chance of surviving two games, a 12.5% chance of surviving three games, a 6.25% chance of surviving four games, a 3.125% chance of surviving five games, a 1.5625% chance of surviving six games, and so on. By the time he gets to ten games, he has less than a 0.1% chance of still being alive and yet as soon as Micheal gets there he shoots himself in the head. What are the odds?
Movie Theater- 5 hour maximum
Big screen, great sound. This is the ideal movie environment. You are there to watch an movie and nothing else (Ok, maybe something else, but then you aren't really watching the movie are you?) and the darkness keeps your eyes on the screen. The chairs in a modern theater are comfy, but not sleep-inducing. And the audience helps too, especially for a comedy. It's easier to laugh when some else thinks it's funny.
Home Theater (Commercial-free TV or streaming/DVD or Blu-Ray)- 6 hour maximum
It's easier to get distracted at home. There is always something else you could be doing. But if you've got a screen big enough for your room and a decent sound system, this is the second best you can do. So if it's a inferior viewing method, why the increase in maximum time? The pause button. It doesn't matter how good a movie is you have to pee sometime. I could have never made it through the director's cuts of the Lord of the Rings movies without the good ol' pause button. The only limit for this set up is your attention span.
DVR Recording or Limited Commercial Streaming- 3 hour maximum
It's the same home theater set up, but the awkward cuts that randomly interrupt the flow of the film even for a few seconds really degrade the viewing experience.
DVD/Blu-Ray on Laptop- 2 hour maximum
The screen is far too small to occupy the majority of your field of vision the way a movie screen or a large TV will. The sound is terrible. You must constantly move to stay comfortable, every time setting off an earthquake that the actors strangely ignore and revealing a strange floating triangle and a mysterious colored bar. Passing the two hour mark laptop viewing becomes intolerable.
Limited Commercial Streaming on a Laptop- 1 and one half hour maximum
I'm looking at you, Hulu. Combining the worst aspects of the last two set ups to make an even worse option.
TV with Commercials- 0 hour maximum
During commercial breaks, I have forgotten not just plot details, but the entire movie. It is far to easy to get distracted or fall asleep waiting for the film to come back. In the modern world, watching anything but live events on ad-supported TV can no longer be tolerated under any circumstance.
I think a kid at the wedding invented break dancing.
Rolling Rock- The official beer of PTSD
By the time, Micheal finds Nick he must have logically played that game dozens of times and in each game he has a 50% chance of losing. He has a 25% chance of surviving two games, a 12.5% chance of surviving three games, a 6.25% chance of surviving four games, a 3.125% chance of surviving five games, a 1.5625% chance of surviving six games, and so on. By the time he gets to ten games, he has less than a 0.1% chance of still being alive and yet as soon as Micheal gets there he shoots himself in the head. What are the odds?
Movie Theater- 5 hour maximum
Big screen, great sound. This is the ideal movie environment. You are there to watch an movie and nothing else (Ok, maybe something else, but then you aren't really watching the movie are you?) and the darkness keeps your eyes on the screen. The chairs in a modern theater are comfy, but not sleep-inducing. And the audience helps too, especially for a comedy. It's easier to laugh when some else thinks it's funny.
Home Theater (Commercial-free TV or streaming/DVD or Blu-Ray)- 6 hour maximum
It's easier to get distracted at home. There is always something else you could be doing. But if you've got a screen big enough for your room and a decent sound system, this is the second best you can do. So if it's a inferior viewing method, why the increase in maximum time? The pause button. It doesn't matter how good a movie is you have to pee sometime. I could have never made it through the director's cuts of the Lord of the Rings movies without the good ol' pause button. The only limit for this set up is your attention span.
DVR Recording or Limited Commercial Streaming- 3 hour maximum
It's the same home theater set up, but the awkward cuts that randomly interrupt the flow of the film even for a few seconds really degrade the viewing experience.
DVD/Blu-Ray on Laptop- 2 hour maximum
The screen is far too small to occupy the majority of your field of vision the way a movie screen or a large TV will. The sound is terrible. You must constantly move to stay comfortable, every time setting off an earthquake that the actors strangely ignore and revealing a strange floating triangle and a mysterious colored bar. Passing the two hour mark laptop viewing becomes intolerable.
Limited Commercial Streaming on a Laptop- 1 and one half hour maximum
I'm looking at you, Hulu. Combining the worst aspects of the last two set ups to make an even worse option.
TV with Commercials- 0 hour maximum
During commercial breaks, I have forgotten not just plot details, but the entire movie. It is far to easy to get distracted or fall asleep waiting for the film to come back. In the modern world, watching anything but live events on ad-supported TV can no longer be tolerated under any circumstance.
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