Let's be honest here. I didn't watch this movie for complex plot development, well-drawn characters, or even a good laugh at some low humor. I watched I Want Candy because I wanted to see some boobs, specifically Carmon Electra's boobs. Any boobs would have been nice, but not a single nipple was to be found. The truth is a heterosexual male will watch any piece of crap with a BPM (Boobs Per Minute) of at least 0.07. (That's one nipple every 15 minutes in a 90 minute movie.) But you didn't need me to tell you that. Without the support of undone bras, the direct to DVD, commercial-free cable, and horror genre would have revenue streams limper than audiences about 15 minutes after the start of a porn film. So why, in this era when any level and style of pornography is instantly available for free any place on the planet, does this bad-but-with-boobs genre of film persist? Because these movies are as close as we get to what the protagonists in I Want Candy claim to have made and what is so desperately needed: porn that's watchable as a movie.
It wasn't always this way. The most famous porno of all time is Deep Throat and it is an actual movie with an actual plot that is actually watchable. This one isn't entirely the MPAA's fault, but they did have a hand in it. When the videocassette was born, the porn theater died. (Which was a good thing, cause ewwwwwwwwww.) Then came Blockbuster, which crushed all the small time video stores (and were subsequently crushed by Netflix), and one of their keys to success was, unlike the little guys, they didn't sell dirty movies, so they could set up shop anywhere without legal troubles or moral rumblings. At this point the porn market, became the sleaziest of males, who were and are the only ones which would frequent an adult book store. And that's when porn stopped trying. With movies like I Want Candy, Hollywood is attempting to fill that hole as hard as it can, but with its obvious inadequacies (commercial concerns and the MPAA) it just can't satisfy us.
It's not like hardcore scenes couldn't be worked into a Hollywood film. Sex scenes are common and often fairly graphic. Many times directors have to contort themselves into unusual positions in order to stay on the commercial side of the NC-17 line. Scenes in Traffic and Requiem For a Dream come to mind.
Yes, there are pornographic films, both hardcore and softcore, that have some semblance of a plot, but the non-pornographic scenes are unwatchably terrible. Much worse than the level of bad in a Hollywood film. It's partly a problem of effort, but the porn industry also has a serious personnel problem. Top female porn stars are every bit as attractive as their Hollywood counterparts. If they could act, even at a Kristen Stewart level, they'd catch a bus across town to start earning that Hollywood money and prestige. And, I suspect the writing staff is similarly challenged.
Then, there's NC-17, but that rating is not free reign. Most of the films in this rating class are good movies, but pornographically they are little more than softcore. And as no theater chain will show them, they are a guaranteed commercial disaster.
As weird as it sounds, the porn industry is dying. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? This is a niche that you can still market, smut-makers. You can't stop downright piracy, but you can cut into the 5 minute free clip market, if you can offer something worthwhile during the recharge phase. Take the time an effort to make a good film that happens to be pornographic. Invest in some acting classes for your stars. Hire some real writers that are between projects. There are always scripts on the market that you could make work. It doesn't have to be Hitch-cock. It doesn't take much to make a movie as minimally watchable as I Want Candy and then stick in some dick. If you build it, they will cum.
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