In this blog, I have expressed some fairly controversial views. Here are some highlights: the elimination of fossil fuels is not technically possible with modern technology, people with cancer should just shut the fuck up about it (I actually don't know if I meant this one satirically or not.), we should probably do something about wealth inequality, you probably suck at everything and maybe shouldn't go to college, and the war on terror is destroying America's soul. I'm pro-racism (very specific forms of racism, in which, the greatest damage is to racism itself), pro-gay marriage and pro-polygamy, but anti-interspecies relationships. All of this build up is because I am about to make the most controversial statement in the history of this blog...
The Phantom Menace is not a terrible movie. It is actually kind of good.
You probably haven't seen it in a while. Here's a recap.
I will start my defense of this film with an admission of some stuff that didn't quite work in this movie. The dialog, especially the lines given to Anakin and Padme, was a little awkward. Portman was a bit stiff in her role, but unfortunately, too much of this movie relied on the acting talents of Jake Lloyd, who played little (soon-to-be) orphan Annie, and he just couldn't handle the job. I get the appeal of casting an unknown into the role and it's tough to get experienced, talented child actors, but I can't help but feel that Haley Joel Osment or Johnathan Lipnicki (i.e. that kid from Jerry Maguire) could have done it better.
There is one part of this movie which is irredeemably terrible. It is, of course, Jar-Jar Binks. Which brings me to the first of two keys to enjoying this film. Just ignore Jar-Jar. He doesn't do anything important. Whenever he comes on the screen just close your ears and avert your eyes, you won't miss anything.
There is a clue in the title to the second key: Keep an eye on Palpatine. Everything about this movie says "watch Anakin, he's Vader," but it's The Phantom Menace, not the obvious menace. Anakin is like the magician waving his arms on center stage while off to the side Palpatine, the beautiful assistant, is hiding the rabbit in full view of the audience. During the course of the film, he engineers a crisis to take advantage of the fears of his fellow senators and a naive young girl to rise from a representative of a backwater world to ruler of the galaxy and sets up a fake civil war to further consolidate his power. It's the greatest Jedi mind trick ever played. Outside of the pod racing sequence (which even critics agree is pretty fucking good), The Phantom Menace lacks the visceral entertainment of the other Star Wars movies. It should not be watched as a popcorn flick. Instead, view it as a political drama. Despite the Jar-Jar, The Phantom Menace is the most adult Star Wars film.
I conclude my case with the best part of the movie: Darth Maul. Vader is a slow asthmatic, but he's big and strong and seemingly unstoppable. It feels like no matter how fast or far you run every time you turn around, Vader will be there ready to crush you, and that makes him terrifying. It's the same aesthetic captured by Jason in the Friday the 13th films. Darth Maul is the only other villain in Star Wars that feels like this and is consequently the only one to approach his villainous cool.
Here are the official No Spoiler Tags Star Wars standings: 5 4 3 6 1 7 2.
Dude, wanna wiseabove to Seventh-Heaven?
ReplyDelete